It seems to already be one of those weeks where even the simplest things get to me and wear me out...both physically and mentally. I have been doing so well, and it always irritates me when the inevitable bumps in the road come up. And it's not like anything is necessarily "wrong;" it's just inside i don't feel as calm and stable as i have been feeling. I can point my finger to a few different things that may have a bit to do with it, but the problem is i can't "fix" any of them...they are what they are and are just things i have to accept, face, and deal with. One huge thing i have learned this past year is how deeply i can be effected by outside influences, mainly other people. During times when i feel off, i really don't filter well and because of it a lot of others negativity or problems have the opportunity to leak in and im pretty sure that's what has happened and that's why im feeling a lot of the way i do. I do think its something that just needs to run it's course a run itself out of me and i will be fine. But it leaves me exhausted...plain and simple. Let's just say im looking forward to bedtime...
On a more positive note, I am really looking forward to starting school again come the fall. I really think the mental stimulation and challenge will be good for me. It's been hard to put my schooling on the backburner this past year, but i knew i had to to be able to concentrate on healing and getting back on my feet. I don't regret it at all, and i feel im in a much better place now to concentrate on it. Im sure it will add to the exhaustion and i do feel a bit guilty that it will take away a little more time from Xander and also chip into my time with Dave, but I know its a necessity for the future and it will be worth it.
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