Why?

I've asked myself "why" many times this past weekend and came the the stark realization that no matter how many times I ask myself that question about certain things, I will never get an answer. So, I finally think I can stop asking why some people refuse to care how their actions affect others and why "truth" or "commitment" is just not in some peoples genetic makeup. I do still wonder why, though, people like this seem to find a way to slither into my life and do everything they can to disturb my balance while I try my best everyday to just keep things serene in my life and try to be a decent human being who cares about others. I'm far from perfect, but I try. And I don't think I will ever understand why others can't...

So, my project right now is to ground myself again and remember just how to deal with people who you need to interact with (unfortuately!) but so nothing but spew venom and sprinkle bits of negativity into your life. I have positive people in my life who help keep me grounded and feel loved, and I need to work on surrounding myself with more of them. It does truly make me sad though, to realize that so many people will never "get it" and they will forever be caught in their own cycle of misery. And the lesson that I always struggle with and am constantly learning over and over again; you can't save everyone. I have a poem on my fridge that has helped me so much during bumps in the road like this and I'll share it here...

"The Journey" by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice -
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations -
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do -
determined to save
the only life you could save.